Pricing Life and Limbs

 Should loss of life or injury to humans be treated on basis of equality or there should be differentiation is discussed in “How to Value Life and Limbs?”

Bob’s Banter

Beauty Contests

In the backdrop of Indian entrant to the just concluded Miss Universe contest not making to the final rounds, Bob has a light take on the subject in “Beauty Reservations..!” 

For more insightful articles by Bob, hit his website – www.bobsbanter.com

CocktailPlaza 

Also have a look at our trivia/sublime, random quotes, Indiana and recycled humour in this section – as and when we schedule them afresh – or in the archives.

The CD on Laughter is loaded on this website for you to view/download.

The CD on laughter is loaded in the archives of this website for free downloading and use. Click on “laughter Plaza” on the top bar below the masthead on the home (front) page. Alert your friends who may be interested.

 Stay with us and help us to grow!

- John B. Monteiro

Should Lucre Denote Rank?

By John B. Monteiro

How to Value Life and Limbs?

By John B. Monteiro

 The tickling rain doth fall

Upon us one and all;

The south-wind kisses

The saucy milkmaid’s cheek,

The nun’s, demure and meek

Nor any misses.

 - Edmund Stedman, US poet (1833-1908).

 As Abraham Lincoln said in his famous Gettysburg speech, the founding fathers of America founded the nation on the proposition that all men are equal. Even William Shakespeare, English dramatic poet (1564-1616) had said in Winter’s Tale:

The selfsame sun that shines upon his court

Hides not his visage from our cottage, but

Looks on alike.

 But, when it comes to determining the value or price of humans, there is a lot of confusion or discrimination. Writing on the subject, Sir Marcus Samuel cryptically says: “The price of an article is exactly what it fetches”. A sign on the windshield of an old, beat-up jalopy at a used car lot: Price $2300. Rebate $ 2000. Translated to men, it means the old and tottering are valued less whereas the young and strong command higher value or price. The Spanish poet, Thomas de Riarte (1750-1791) said: “The foolish and vulgar are always accustomed to value equally the good and the bad”. They may all be considering conceptual or hypothetical situations. But, in many situations, there is compulsion to put down the quantitative figure as the value of a person’s life and limb. This, for instance, happens when the dead and injured are to be compensated in the case of plane accidents or motor accidents. And we are lost in arguments as the following two instances reflect.

 In the process of determining the compensation for the dead in the Mangalore air-crash tragedy, the lawyers for Air India, instead of measuring all by a common yardstick and equally, are weighing in a number of subjective considerations. Asked if high income group victims or their families always get more compensation than low income group families, here is how Air India’s lawyer responded: Not necessarily. There are various factors that are taken into account, like the number of dependents, whether they are actually dependent on the victim’s income, etc. “A member who is not a dependent, like a brother or sister, could get a nominal amount even if the victim’s income was high”. Citing a case in point, the lawyer said that a couple of victims earning the same amount were paid different amounts of compensation.

Coming to road accidents, the Supreme Court released a judgment on September 1, 2010 which called for considering the future income of the accident victims. In a judgment that may have far reaching consequences, the Supreme Court has said that High courts should consider “loss of future earnings”, besides medical treatment, as a major factor while awarding compensation to accident victims. A Bench of Justices GS Singhvi and AK Ganguly said: “Going by these principles, as we must, the court is constrained to observe that in this case the approach of the High Court (Karnataka) in totally refusing to grant any compensation for loss of future earning is not a correct one.” The Bench also held that subordinate courts must be liberal in determining the quantum of compensation in as much as in a free country the laws must value the life and limb on a generous scale.

 Normally, damages are given for an injury suffered, whereas compensation is given for the atonement of injury caused and the intention behind the grant of compensation is to put back the injured party as far as possible in the same position, as if the injury has not taken place, by way of grant of pecuniary relief, the judgment said.

 The Bench made the ruling while directing the National Insurance Company to pay Rs. 2 lakh compensation with 8% interest to Yadav Kumar, a 37 year-old painter from Bangalore. He had challenged the decision of the Karnataka High Court which had granted him compensation of Rs. 72,000, an increase of Rs. 20,000 from the award given by Motor Accident Claim Tribunal, without considering the loss he had suffered due to impairment by 20%. Kumar was hit by a tempo while standing by the roadside in March 2003. Because of the accident, he became disabled to the extent of 20%, including deformity to his right hand which he used as a painter before the accident. The Bench considered that Kumar was earning Rs. 3,000 per month and calculated the amount through the multiplier method.

 The subject is open to many views. What are yours? Over to you.

Legal Betting 

In the backdrop of the controversy over bribing of Pakistani cricketers to under-perform and thus and thus help the bookies involved, there is a call for legalising betting – as noted in “Why Not Legalise Betting?”

Bob’s Banter

Beauty Contests

In the backdrop of Indian entrant to the just concluded Miss Universe contest not making to the final rounds, Bob has a light take on the subject in “Beauty Reservations..!”

For more insightful articles by Bob, hit his website – www.bobsbanter.com

CocktailPlaza 

Also have a look at our trivia/sublime, random quotes, Indiana and recycled humour in this section – as and when we schedule them afresh – or in the archives.

The CD on Laughter is loaded on this website for you to view/download.

The CD on laughter is loaded in the archives of this website for free downloading and use. Click on “laughter Plaza” on the top bar below the masthead on the home (front) page. Alert your friends who may be interested.

 Stay with us and help us to grow!

- John B. Monteiro

Should Lucre Denote Rank?

By John B. Monteiro

Why Not Legalise Betting?

By John B. Monteiro

 Look around, the wrecks of play behold!

Estates dismembered, mortgaged, sold!

Their owners now in jail confined,

Show equal poverty of mind.

 - John Gay, English poet (1688-1732).

 Gambling and betting has been part of Indian historic heritage, going back to the epic age of Mahabharata where, after losing all, a wife is put on the betting arena. In other words, Indians are heir to great gambling heritage, with betting in their blood. Now sports betting has again come centre-stage, with calls for legalizing betting. But, first the facts.

 Even as cricket goes through a crisis induced by the alleged nexus between Pakistani players and a fixer accused of trying to defraud bookmakers, a trial court in Delhi has suggested that betting on cricket and other sports be made legal in India.  “It does not need divine eyes to see that ‘satta’ (betting) in cricket and other games is reaching an alarming situation. The money that this generates is diverted to drug-trafficking and terrorist activities,” said Dharmesh Sharma, additional sessions judge of the court in Delhi. “It is high time our legislature seriously considered legalizing the entire system of betting to check this organized crime.”

 While citing a report claiming that more than Rs.20,000 crore was pumped into last year’s IPL by betting syndicates, the court was critical of the police for its laxity in checking this illegal business. “In Delhi alone, there would be 2,000-3,000 bookies operating when cricket matches are played.”

 Here is the current status of betting in India, as noted by The New Indian Express (2-9-10).

 Betting in India is heavily restricted, although there is extensive illegal gambling throughout the country. The Indian gambling market is estimated to be worth $60 billion per year, of which about half is illegal bet.

 Only two states allow casino gambling, Goa and Sikkim. There is one casino in Sikkim and 12 in Goa, of which seven are land based and five are floating casinos that operate on the Mandovi River.

 Other than lotteries, legal gambling in India is limited to betting on horse racing.

 Online gambling is in its infancy in India, but Sikkim plans to offer three online gambling licences in 2010. Sikkim also permits an online lottery, operated by Playwin, which takes bets from players throughout India. It is expected that other states will follow Sikkim shortly, thereby opening up a major online gambling market throughout India.

While many of India’s bookmakers operate out of street-front bet shops, others are online. Many of the largest international sports betting companies like Betsson and Ladbrokes also offer internet betting in India.

 Now defunct British humour magazine, Punch, had a punch-line on betting: “Betting is a means of getting something for nothing. Experience teaches us that it is usually a method of getting nothing for something.” In the long run every gambler learns this lesson. Only the bookie wins and the community of gamblers looses what the bookies rake in. Against this background, there are suggestions for legalizing sports betting, as is done in the case of horse racing. Legalising betting in India would let the government keep track of the flow of the money in this now illegal but well-organised industry which primarily feeds on black money. Also, by legalizing betting, the government can take a slice of the revenue generated and use it for public welfare.

 The subject is open to many views. What are yours? Over to you.

Fraudsters and Gullible 

There is a sucker born every minutes and there are corresponding gullible victims, as noted in “Are Indians Gullible and/ or Greedy?” 

Bob’s Banter

Beauty Contests

In the backdrop of Indian entrant to the just concluded Miss Universe contest not making to the final rounds, Bob has a light take on the subject in “Beauty Reservations..!”

For more insightful articles by Bob, hit his website – www.bobsbanter.com

CocktailPlaza 

Also have a look at our trivia/sublime, random quotes, Indiana and recycled humour in this section – as and when we schedule them afresh – or in the archives.

The CD on Laughter is loaded on this website for you to view/download.

The CD on laughter is loaded in the archives of this website for free downloading and use. Click on “laughter Plaza” on the top bar below the masthead on the home (front) page. Alert your friends who may be interested.

 Stay with us and help us to grow!

- John B. Monteiro

Are Indians Gullible and/or Greedy?

By John B. Monteiro

 “Nobody really loves to be cheated, but it does seem as though everyone is anxious to see how near he could come to it.” – Josh Billings.

 Some come too close and get scalded despite being warned by PT Barnum that there is sucker born every minute and instructed by WC Fields: “Remember, dearie, never give a sucker an even break”. But, there are hordes of people out there looking out for get-rich-fast deals and bargains. They pay dearly for their gullibility or greed or both – as the following reports reflect.

 The Karnataka High Court on August 30, 2010 gave Joseph Chacko time till next day afternoon to deposit Rs.400 crore that he owes nearly 1500 NRIs he cheated. Justice Subhash B Adi directed that a compromises formula should be worked out and the money should be deposited by 2.30 pm. If the order was not complied with, then a judgment would be passed in the afternoon. The Judge also directed the police not to arrest Chacko until Tuesday evening.

 Chacko is believed to have cheated more than 1,500 NRIs to the tune of Rs.500 crore. So far 49 cases have been registered from NRIs settled in Bahrain and United Arab Emirates. Chacko, a native of Kerala hosted a party for a senior official in Dubai to win over the confidence of NRI community. Many fell into his trap and invested money eyeing properties in Bangalore and surrounding areas. He purchased land at many places but did not allot sites to investors.

 Crossing over to Maharashtra, reporting in The Times of India, under the title Fly-by- night firms still flying high, C Unnikrishnan, notes that fraudulent companies that promised pots of gold at the end of the rainbow collectively raised over Rs.1,200 crore in Mumbai alone between 1996-2005. Details of cases registered under the defunct Maharashtra Protection of Interests of Depositors (in financial establishments) Act  (MPIDA) show that over seven lakh people collectively invested in the various schemes floated by the fly-by-night operators, but only 78,000 could actually recover their money. And the amount distributed to the investors following intervention of the police and the courts stood at a mere Rs.19 crore.

 In the late 1990s, several schemes that looked attractive on paper were floated by companies like CU Marketing, Suman Motels, Kuber Group besides several plantation companies like Parasrampuria Plantation and Anubhav Plantation. In fact, a host of plantation companies mushroomed in the 1990s, luring the public to invest with them. In a typical plantation scheme, the company invited people to invest money in ‘teak-units’ and assured them of a specified quantum after a specified lock-in-period, which was usually very long. Typically an investment of Rs.1,275 in a teak tree was to fetch Rs.62,000 or 37.5 cubic feet of teak at the expiry of 20 years. There were slight variations in the offers made by different teak plantation companies.

 The MPIDA, introduced in 2000, was meant to protect investors who were being duped by financial establishments offering various schemes with huge returns, without any obligation to refund the same. The Act was enacted at the instance of the RBI, which suggested that the state come up with legislation as the existing ones were found inadequate to deal with the growing number of such companies. The Act carried a six-year imprisonment on conviction and a fine of Rs.1 lakh.

 Police officials say there have been only six convictions before the Act was struck down by the Bombay High Court in 2005. In other cases, the charge-sheets have been submitted but the trials could not proceed since the Act was struck down. Police officials said that the public ought to be careful while investing in companies that offer exceptionally huge returns. “It’s greed and easy money that makes people fall for theses schemes. They do not realize that is not a viable business proposition.”

 The state government has now decided to set up units of Economic Offenses Wing in the districts too considering that several schemes are proliferating there. It is estimated that the amount involved in recent cases being handled by EOW adds up to over Rs.600 crore.

 The subject is open to many views. What are yours? Over to you.

Miss Universe contest’s just got over and I looked for Miss India on stage but someone politely told me she’d already taken the flight back the day before!

Back home, a former judge whispered in my ear, “It’s our reservation system!”

“You mean they now have reservations for beauty contests?”

“I was a local judge last year,” said the former judge, “was sitting waiting for the contestants to be announced and I remember suddenly a circular was given to each one of us. We judges at the beauty contest looked at each other stunned and aghast as we glanced at the government circular we’d just received before the contest began. I remember reading it out to all the other judges, “Fifty per cent of all the awards are to be reserved!”

“For whom?”

“Ten per cent for girls below four feet height!”

“Four feet? They’ll be trampled underfoot by the other girls if we send them for the Miss World and nobody will even know they’re missing!”

“Another ten percent for our fat, plump and obese women!”

“We’ll have to build a bigger stage!” whispered the organizer thoughtfully, “a heavy duty one!”

“Are there more reservation categories?” asked an old judge squinting at her circular but not daring to wear her spectacles.

“Oh yes! Ten percent for those with IQ’s below average!”

“What sort of questions should we ask them?” asked the same judge.

“None,” said the man who’d given the circular, “they’re in automatically!”

“We judges looked at each other angrily, “What a terrible thing for a beauty contest!”

“I wish I’d not lived to see such a day!”

“Our country is going to the dogs!”

“How will our girls compete in the international arena?”

“We should protest!”

“Burn something?”

“I’ll burn this circular!”

“I’ll burn my bra!”

“Ladies!” Ladies, there’s a last reservation you haven’t read!” said the man who’d given us the circular. “It says twenty per cent reservations for women above sixty!”

“Yippee!” we cried as we judges ran on stage, “Who wants to be a judge….”

“Three cheers for the reservation policy..!”

Now you know why India’s not winning anymore; too much reservations..!

Embryo Incubation 

Many couples from abroad are trying to outsource the incubation of their embryos to Indian women, as noted in “Should India Be World’s Embryo Incubator?” 

Bob’s Banter

Colouring Terrorists

In the backdrop of Union Home Minister

Chidambaram’s reference to saffron terror, Bob has a light take on the subject in “The Colour Of Terror..!”

For more insightful articles by Bob, hit his website – www.bobsbanter.com

CocktailPlaza 

Also have a look at our trivia/sublime, random quotes, Indiana and recycled humour in this section – as and when we schedule them afresh – or in the archives.

The CD on Laughter is loaded on this website for you to view/download.

The CD on laughter is loaded in the archives of this website for free downloading and use. Click on “laughter Plaza” on the top bar below the masthead on the home (front) page. Alert your friends who may be interested.

 Stay with us and help us to grow!

- John B. Monteiro

Should Lucre Denote Rank?

By John B. Monteiro

Should India Be World’s Embryo Incubator?

By John B. Monteiro

 “Do you know who made you?” “Nobody, as I knows on,” said the child with a short laugh. The idea appeared to amuse her considerably; for her eyes twinkled, and she added – “I  ‘spect I growed. Don’t think nobody never made me.” – Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe, US novelist (1812-1896) in Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

 “He was not brought by the stork; he was delivered by a man from the Audubon Society personally.” –Fred Allen.

 Time was when children asked how they were born and mothers were stuck for an answer and the most common answer was that a stork delivered the baby carrying the bundle, wrapped in a cloth and held in its beak. Today’s children will go to Google for an answer. Yet, things are much more complex today with surrogate mothering and embryo incubation. Earlier surrogate mothering was resorted to because of physical inadequacy to bear children. Now they do it to get on with their busy schedule by outsourcing the incubation to others, even across continents. An insight into this is provided by an exclusive report by Radha Sharma titled “Busy couples now courier embryos for babies” in The Times of India (31-8-10).

 Busy childless couples and even singles who cannot afford to take extended leaves are now shipping their children-in-the-making to state clinics to be implanted in the wombs of surrogates. In a growing practice, embryos from the fertilized eggs and sperm of the couple are couriered in controlled cool conditions and delivered to infertility clinics which are then transferred into surrogate mother’s womb!

 IVF Melbourne (Gujarat) in Ahmedabad recently received an embryo from a 40-year old man in the US who wants to become a single parent. The man has hired the services of an American egg donor. As it would be impractical and prohibitively expensive to bring the donor to India for surrogacy treatment, which requires him to take at least ten days leave, he got the eggs fertilized with his sperm with the help of gynaecologists in the US, had the embryos frozen and shipped them to Ahmedabad. “He has already finalized a surrogate from the options sent to him on e-mail and will come only to sign the legal papers. We will transfer the embryo in the surrogate and if pregnancy occurs, he will come back to take the child”, said Dr Manish Banker.

The frozen embryos are stored in medical straws, sealed and then packed in liquid nitrogen maintaining temperature at -196 degrees.

 While this way of getting a child may seem a little too clinical to many, doctors say this turns out much cheaper when one takes the travel cost and lodging expenses of two people if the treatment is done here. Plus this saves the hassle of taking leave from office, especially when both partners are working!

 Dr Banker has four such embryo-shipping cases lined up for surrogate motherhood, including one from an Australian couple. “This practice of getting IVF treatment in their own countries and then sending embryos is set to grow as it saves both time and money,” says Dr Banker.

 Dr Naina Patel in Anand, who receives maximum couples seeking surrogacy services, says there is a sharp rise in enquiries from couples about this facility. “We receive a growing number of embryos shipped from all around the globe from couples who can’t come here for initial stages of treatment. While we prefer to pick up eggs and do embryology if the couple comes here, many couples have genuine problems in getting extended leaves. If the embryos are shipped, they have to come here only for a day or two to complete the legalities,” she says.

 Going beyond Radha’s report, with plenty woman power available in India, the country can develop a massive business in embryo outsourcing, just as happened in the IT sector over the last one decade.

 The subject is open to many views. What are yours? Over to you.

“If only the government had told us before about the colours terror likes to wear we would have careful all this while!” said a victim of the Mumbai train blast. “I wouldn’t have taken that particular local because it did look a little saffron to me!”

“And I would have been more careful before eating the greens in my dinner plate,” said another who had escaped the Taj shootout two years ago.

Other people are grinning.

“What are you grinning about?” asked Chidambaram to his missus.

“Maybe it’s you who are colour blind!”

“No I’m not, I’ve identified the colour of terror!”

“Yes and your opposition party has identified the other colour of terror!”

“So that makes two colours!” said the home minister smugly.

“And I suppose you don’t know where you can find those two colours?”

“Wherever there is terror!” said Chidambaram.

“Husband, look up, what’s that floating above you?”

“The national flag!” gasped the home minister.

“And what are the two colours?”

“Saffron and ….no!” shouted the home minister.

“Yes!” shouted the missus.

“But,” said the home minister, “One colour is missing, so your argument is wrong!”

“It isn’t missing!”

“It is!”

“It isn’t”

“Where is it then?”

“Look!”

“My dhoti?”

“Yes! It is white, the missing colour!”

“People are saying I am a terror?”

“Well at least Blackberry and Google Talk and Skype, even all those in Kashmir who’s SMS service you always take away!”

The dhobi was a little startled to see the home minister at the door, “You don’t have to wash it too clean!”

“Your dhoti saar?”

“Sssshhhh yes!”

“You want me to leave some dirt on it saar? Thenit will look a little yellowshish saar!”

“Very good!” said the home minister, “Very good! Yellow is not the colour of terror!”

“Yellow is colour of coward saar!”

“Which should be the colour of terrorism,” shouted the home minister brightening up, “Not saffron or green or white, but yellow, because a terrorist is a coward. Wash my dhoti sparkling white..!”

Charity

The status of philanthropy in India is discussed in “Do Indians Share Wealth?” 

Bob’s Banter

Upgrading Oneself!

In the context of match-fixing by Pakistani cricketer, Bob calls for upgrading character in “Follow Your Face..!”

For more insightful articles by Bob, hit his website – www.bobsbanter.com

CocktailPlaza 

Also have a look at our trivia/sublime, random quotes, Indiana and recycled humour in this section – as and when we schedule them afresh – or in the archives.

The CD on Laughter is loaded on this website for you to view/download.

The CD on laughter is loaded in the archives of this website for free downloading and use. Click on “laughter Plaza” on the top bar below the masthead on the home (front) page. Alert your friends who may be interested.

 Stay with us and help us to grow!

- John B. Monteiro

Do Indians Share Wealth?

By John B. Monteiro

 “The desire of power in excess caused the angels to fall; the desire of knowledge in excess caused man to fall; but in charity there is no excess, neither can angel or man come in danger by it.” – Francis Bacon, English philosopher and writer (1561-1626).

Paul Allen, who founded the Microsoft Corporation with Bill Gates, announced recently that he planned to give more than half of his estimated $13.5 billion to philanthropy. Allan is among a growing number of wealthy philanthropists who are publicly stating their commitments to giving their money away in response to a call from Gates and Warren E Buffett, who had started a programme called The Giving Pledge that aims to get the country’s billionaires to devote half their fortunes to charity. Eli and Edythe Broad, John and Ann Doerr and other wealthy philanthropists have also signed on.

 Allen has already given away more than $1 billion through foundations and non-profit organisations he has created, and in an interview with the Chronicle of Philanthropy in 2003, he said that he thought it was important for people with his kind of wealth to become significant philanthropists. “I have planned for many years now that the majority of my estate will be left to philanthropy to continue the work of the foundation and to fund nonprofit scientific research, like the ground breaking work being done at Allen Institute for Brain Science,” Allen had said in a statement, referring to the Paul G Allen Family Foundation. Unlike Gates, whose foundation distributes billions around the world, Allen supports programmes in the Pacific North West, the Allen Institute and Experience Music Project/Science Fiction Museum.

 Coming to the Indian situation, the subject is analysed in a perceptive article titled “The Wealth Sharers” by Indrani Rajkhowa Banerjee in Times Life! (29-8-10). Here are some excerpts.

 The business of giving is certainly looking up! Charity begins at home and it’s time for India Inc. to start practicing the lesson. As Narayana Murthy said, “The power of money is to give it away.” Social commentator Santosh Desai observes, “Indians have always been generous people. However, giving in India has centred on local institutions like temple, church, mosque and community centres. Unlike Rockefellar and Carnegie in the US, the desire to leave behind a legacy is not strong among Indians. Corporates can take a lead from the Tatas, who have institutionalized philanthropy, making it an act of corporate social responsibility (CSR) and not charity.”

 The mindset’s slowly changing but there are miles to go before we get into the big boy’s club. Capt. Gopinath of Deccan 360 observes, “In the west, people don’t leave behind much to family or children. There are wild stories how multi-billionaires will their entire wealth to pet dogs and cats! Here, wealth is amassed for family. Inheritance is not seen as remotely unearned or unobserved.”

 It is said that if India’s richest 100 donated their fortunes the way Warren Buffett and Bill Gates did – over $250 billion – a quarter of Indian GDP would be generated. But all said and done, the question of what the wealthiest Indians are giving now still remains a mystery. Most of them aren’t telling, and outsiders can’t pierce the veil! Yash Birla, the scion of the Birla businessempire, is known in the industry as a true ‘giver’. Yash says, “Keep in mind that there is always a higher purpose for your income.”  

 According to Dr. Rajnish Karki, author of Competing with the Best, “The License Raj killed the art of giving in business. Before that, the Tatas, Birlas and Dalmias and a few business houses were actively involved in patronage, which was more socially driven owing to the frenzy of Independence movement. But, wealth from corporate sector, specially software, has just started pouring in during the past seven to eight years. At a time when their main aim is to preserve growth, it would be unfair to compare their CSR activities with the west.”

 Going beyond Indrani,  there is another facet of charity in India.

Our charity begins at home,

And mostly ends where it begins.

 -Horace Smith, English humorist-writer (1779-1849).

 This may be true in India. Many wealthy Indians seem to take the Charitable Trust route to avoid taxation and siphon off business funds and park them in such trusts to reward themselves or close relatives. There seems to be lack of transparency about the final application of such trust funds. Or, are such ‘philanthropists’ taking the cue from the Biblical edict (Mathew VI-3): “When thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what the right hand doeth.”

 The subject is open to many views. What are yours? Over to you.

Or rather where are the gentlemen?

As I grew up, there were two sets of game seasons that went side by side. One the season in my rather elitist school, of cricket, hockey and football, and the other outside of kites, tops and marbles. I do admit that for many seasons I did both, flew a kite at home and played cricket in school, played hockey and marbles and even kicked a ball and spun a top, but gradually had to leave one world for the other.

The problem with the match fixing people is that they want to live in both the worlds. They want to be scoundrels and continue playing a gentleman’s game!

Sorry my friends you can’t!

As I watched the video of the so called cricketers taking a bribe, as I saw footage of fast bowlers Mohammad Amir and Mohammad Asif bowling no balls I felt a sense of shame and anger. Why did these fellows not continue playing marbles, spinning tops or flying kites, why did they move up?

And in moving up, why did they not move themselves up?

And as I thought of these men I realized that many of us are the same; we work hard to lift ourselves from poverty, or semi poverty or whatever state we were in by getting an education, a better job and a fantastic salary, but even as we stay in mansion or palace we behave like hutment dweller!

If you are going to play the gentleman’s game, then become a gentleman!

Many years ago, a young handsome lad came to my home and spent an evening with my wife and me. As he spoke, and he spoke the whole evening, I was a little puzzled, because one, his conversation was only about himself and secondly he seemed to be lacking in confidence and self esteem even though he sported a rather handsome face and athletic body.

As soon as he left I rang his cousin, who was a close friend of mine, “Did you find something strange about him?” asked his cousin.

“For a handsome guy, he lacks confidence!”

“That’s because he hasn’t followed his face!” laughed my friend.

“What’s that?” I asked puzzled.

“He was an ugly fellow,” said my friend, “and he went through plastic surgery last year, which changed his looks dramatically, but he still thinks he’s ugly!”

And that’s what’s wrong with those cricketers, that’s what’s wrong with all of us, who do well in life and still act like how we acted in the life we’ve left behind. We’ve moved up into the world of cricket, but we’re still acting like we’re playing with marbles!

Follow your face..!

Rank and Income

 There are many instances where, for various reasons, top bosses earn less than their juniors, as noted in “Should Lucre Denote Rank?”

Bob’s Banter

Motherly Lies!

Bob writes about the lies mothers tell their children to protect them from harsh realities of life in “Mothers Do Lie..!”

For more insightful articles by Bob, hit his website – www.bobsbanter.com

CocktailPlaza 

Also have a look at our trivia/sublime, random quotes, Indiana and recycled humour in this section – as and when we schedule them afresh – or in the archives.

The CD on Laughter is loaded on this website for you to view/download.

The CD on laughter is loaded in the archives of this website for free downloading and use. Click on “laughter Plaza” on the top bar below the masthead on the home (front) page. Alert your friends who may be interested.

 Stay with us and help us to grow!

- John B. Monteiro

Should Lucre Denote Rank?

By John B. Monteiro

 “It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes.” – Henry David Thoreau, US author and naturalist (1817-1862).

 The answer to Thoreau may be possible in a nudist colony. But elsewhere, specially in the armed forces or the higher hierarchy of the Catholic Church (Bishop, Cardinal and Pope), rank is denoted by the dress worn. Dress is so common a criterion of rank and riches that there is a vernacular saying that the truth about the laundered would be out at his funeral. For, generally, he would go about in rich garments entrusted to him for cleaning – pending their return to the customers. On his final journey, he cannot be draped in the clothes of the customer! Now lucre or assets are assessed as the criterion of status or rank.

 That was behind the demand of Lalu Prasad Yadav and co of Rs. 80,001 as the monthly salary because, they argued, the Secretaries to the Government got Rs. 80,000. A person’s material worth is measured by accumulated assets (bank balance, shares, landed property, gold, etc.) and current income (salary and perks). Incidentally, the salary of MPs was increased to Rs. 50, 000 and constituency allowance and other increases took the figure the Rs. 80,000. But, there is a public relations scoring in the exercise. Increase in salary is subject to tax while other allowances given are tax-exempt. So, the MPs ended up real winners and the public was fooled into believing that the salary was not increased by five times as Lalu had demanded, but only three times!

 In the corporate world, sometimes, the top boss gets less, either due to circumstances or choice, then lower ranks. For instance, Air India Chairman and Managing Director, Arvind Jadhav, is drawing a salary of about Rs 1.5 lakhs per month whereas his junior, Chief Operating Officer, Capt. Gustav Baldauf, is drawing about Rs. 20 lakhs a month, apart from other allowances and perks. Other such instances of top bosses are noted below.

  There are many in the world of business, at least in America, who take just a dollar home as salary. Lee Iacocca, started the trend in 1979, when as chairman of the troubled automaker Chrysler, he whittled his salary down to a buck till the company returned to black. Here is a look at other one-buck bosses. Vikarm Pandit: The Nagpur-born CEO of Citygroup announced in early 2009 that he would take home just $1 till the group started making profits. Critics point out that three weeks before the announcements, Pandit had received $128.751 in salary. In 2008, Pandit was paid $38 million in shares and options, which now are worth $3 million

 Jerry Yang: The co-founder and former CEO of Yahoo took home just a dollar every month during his stint at the top, till he stepped down in 2009 after resisting Microsoft’s attempt to takeover Yahoo failed. His successor, Carol Bartz, was paid base salary of $1million, stock options for five million shares, not to mention the option of an annual 400 per cent bonus. Steve Jobs: The Apple CEO, who would walk seven miles to get his dose of ISKON Prasad in his broke days, has been taking home just $1 since 1997 – when he came back to the company he founded and had been ousted from. As a result, Apple COO Timothy Cook, who received $5 million as bonus in 2009, is now the iPod maker’s highest-paid employee.

 The Googlers: The duo that created Google – Sergey Brin and Larry Page – is still making the lonely buck even as the company the revolutionized internet search doled out $8 million in bonuses to other senior executives this year. The Google stock has zoomed several times since it listed in August 2004. Elon Musk: The CEO of electric car maker Tesla Motors, takes a dollar as compensation but has used a private jet 12 times in the last year or so. Telsa foots the bill.

 The subject is open to many views. What are yours? Over to you.

“Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say “Eat this rice, son! I’m not hungry.” This was Mother’s First Lie.”

“As I grew, Mother would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, she would sit beside me and eat what was left on the bone of the fish I had eaten. Once I gave the other fish to her but she immediately refused it and said, “No son, I don’t really like fish!” This was Mother’s Second Lie.”

“Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. . This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, “Mother, go to sleep; it’s late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.” Mother smiled and said “Go to sleep, son! I’m not tired.” This was Mother’s Third Lie.”

“When I went to school at first, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, she waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her and she poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. I once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. But mother said, “I’m not thirsty son!” This was Mother’s Fourth Lie.”

“After Father’s death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our neighbbours seeing her widowed often advised my mother to marry again, but Mother refused to remarry saying “I don’t need love.” This was Mother’s Fifth Lie.”

“After I had finished my studies and got a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, “I have enough money.” That was Mother’s Sixth Lie.”

“Then in her old age, Mother was attacked by cancer. I went home to visit her, she tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, “Don’t cry, son! I’m not in pain.” That was Mother’s last lie before she died.”

Haven’t we all heard these lies too?