“..Internet nominated for Nobel Peace Prize..” TOI, Feb 5^th

I look out of my window and see my car looking a bit disgruntled, so does the bus down the road and newspaper in my hand. “Hey!” I yell, “Why so many unhappy people today?”

“Why haven’t we been nominated for the Nobel Prize?” they shout together in a deafening roar as I close my ears but get soundly whacked by the newspaper in my hand. “Why just the Internet, why not us?”

“The Internet helped us share information like never before!” I whisper.

“Okay!” says my car, “You can walk from now on!”

“Walk?” I gasp.

“Yep, why didn’t anyone ever think of nominating me for bridging distances like never before?”

“Or me?” shouts the bus outside.

“Or me?” shouts the newspaper in my hand, “For sharing news like never before?”

“What’s this sudden fascination for the internet?” they all shout together and I close my ears again to the deafening roar but get soundly whacked by the newspaper in my hand. “I’ll find out!” I promise them.

I look in the direction of Sweden where the Nobel committee must be meeting, “Why the Internet?” I whisper.

“Why not?” say the committee looking up at me.

“Well,” I tell them as the newspaper whacks me hard, “What about the newspaper, my car, the bus on the road?”

“They were all invented years ago!”

“But why didn’t they get the prize then?”

“Because there were people those days who we could give the prize to, in fact so many that your Gandhi himself didn’t get it!”

“Aren’t there any people now?”

I hear the committee shift in their seats somewhere in Sweden where they must be sitting to discuss the prize, “Look around you, can you see anyone deserving?”

“And,” says another committee member, as the others look at him, “After giving it to Obama last year, we’re really scared! After he got the Peace Prize he started sending more troops to Afghanistan and Iraq!”

“So we decided to nominate an inanimate body, not a human being this time!”

I switch on the computer and find a virus attacking my hard disk. “How did you get here?” I cry out in anguish.

“Through me!” smiles the Internet.

“And you haven’t yet won the Peace prize..!” I whisper.